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sugarpi04
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Name: Marianne
Birthday: 3/10/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: There's a variety of things that I'm interested in: music, movies, anime, video games, boys every once in a while, and etc. If you want more detailed stuff about my interests, then talk to me.
Expertise: I wouldn't say I'm an expert in anything particular, but I have to say that I do know a little something about video games and anime.
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  Flip Cutie 310
Yahoo:  sugarpi04
Member Since:
7/14/2004
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| Wow guess I just haven't updated in forever. Right now I'm taking 4 summer classes. No break at all this summer. Hopefully next year I will and it'll all be worth it. Anyway, still haven't worked on my story since I've been busy with school. Maybe once I'm done with school, I can finally have the time to work on it. Or write any new songs. I'm getting rusty on my instruments. Well gotta go for now!!
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| I'm soo happy!!! Just got a new car. Well, it's new to me anyway. It's a 2008 Nissan Versa SL. People say the car matches my personality, and I think I agree with them. Anyway, can't wait til summertime! It's almost here!!! Been really busy with school so there's nothing knew with me as far as my writing is concerned. I've been really preoccupied lately. Been mostly thinking to myself, which is one of the reasons why I haven't updated lately. Anyway, nothing new so, gotta go.
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| Well, been thinking about my future lately. I was thinking about pharmacy school and whether or not I should pursue it. It's competitive and what not, and I don't feel up to par with the rest of the people who are pursuing that career path. I think I will try to finish a degree first at UTD, and decide whether or not I will continue that pathway or not. Anyhoo, a new school year is about to start, and I'm gonna try to dedicate my time to graduating. I feel so much pressure from my parents, and I hope that I can fulfill their expectations, even if it shouldn't feel like that. I want to fulfill their expectations, but sometimes I don't know if I can. Anyway, still trying to work on my story, still somewhat stuck. Also, I may have an idea on a song, so I'm kinda sorta writing that right now. Maybe I'll get that recorded and as soo as I do, I'll let everyone listen to it and see what they think. Later!
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| Well, it's about high time that I updated here. But nothing new with me. Pretty much still doing school and work. Pretty much stuck on my story now, plus I hardly have the time to write anymore. Seems I've lost my inspiration, and motivation to do anything significant right now. Guess I'm just lonely cuz I haven't really spent anytime with any of my friends for the longest time. Well, hopefully things will slow down when school is done and the holiday break comes. I do have one thing to say, though. I have noticed something about myself. It's like I can't keep friends, or more like they don't seem to keep me. I guess something about me turns me off to them. It makes me wonder if I'm meant to be alone all my life.
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| Been a while since I last updated my xanga. Just thought that I needed to. Just to let everyone know, my dad is doing ok from his surgery. So thanks for all the concern and prayers. On a sadder note, today marks four years after Rachel Blasingame died. And I still can't seem to forget her. Many things still remind me of her constantly. She was and probably always will be my only best friend. I don't think I've ever been closer with anyone else but her. It's hard sometimes, because I think of all the things she could have been, all the things she could have done, and lastly, if I would've have felt as lonely as I do right now, not having her in my life. It's pretty strange. I can be surrounded by people and yet, still feel all alone in this world. I know that there's some people that do care about me, but I sometimes feel as if I'm not important. Do the people around me really care, or is it just some facade, or my own wishful thinking that I'm loved? Rachel always made me feel important, whether it was something small, whether I felt happy, or whether I was truly miserable about something. She had that air about her, that made everyone smile. And that's what I truly miss. You may be gone from this world, from this cruel and unloving world, but you will never be forgotten by the many people whose hearts you touched. Just to repeat myself from when it first happened, I want to re-post the poem I wrote for you four years ago. Maybe the words I'd written will reach you somehow, and at least you'd know just how important you were to me. And I don't know, I've actually been thinking of coming up with a melody to go with it, or maybe try writing a new song just for you. Maybe the right moment will come, and it'll just happen. To you, Rachel: loved by all and always will be, gone, but never forgotten, and lived short to gain eternal life.
Angel on Earth
As the indomitable darkness of pain and sorrow dwell in my soul,
I fight my way through to the unreachable light.
Within my heart lies an ever-growing lull,
I begin to lose my willingness to fight.
Please, dear God, give me the strength to carry on.
I keep sinking slowly into the shadows of the night.
Life as I knew it has disappeared and gone.
Joy and love are far from my sight.
Darkness continues to surround me, engulfing my heart and mind.
I can feel my life slowly slipping away.
It seems that paths of sorrow are all that I find.
Darkness controls my destiny; there’s nothing I can do or say.
As I lay all alone, I never realized that life could suddenly be cut short.
The mortal angel disguised as my best friend was taken back to heaven so soon.
She now dines with God and the rest of his angels in his court,
Sheltered from our world of chaos and the fires of everlasting doom.
And now I look back on the times we shared,
Realizing that I should not let the darkness win.
This angel, from heaven, a smile she’ll wear,
Hoping we’ll be reunited again
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